I took my ambien about ten minutes ago and i'm feelin g pretty woozy so I thought it might be funny for me to write a blog right now.  I won't remember it so it will be a surprise to me tomorrow.  What should I write?  I feel pretty relaxed and I'm prtty sure i coul d bend over backwards right now and touch the ground with my hands.   I can see a girl doing it and it doesn't seem to hard.

That reminds me of the Wild West Festival they hadevery year when I was growing up.  THey go all sorts of vendors, acts, shows, etc together anput on a week long festival on the university compus.  They always had lots of fun and food.  No one got hurt bu .

i feel like i'm sitting at work and falling asleep dujring a boring conference call.  I saw t;hat Taysom hill got married.  Good for him.  He seems likd a nice gjy and he's a decent qu;arterback.  BYU should have fired Bronco years ago.  He keeps losing and then fires his staff at the end of the yearl  You can only do that som many times before people figure out the head coach is the problem. 

I saw redfish for the first time today.  They're pretty bug.My eyes won't opn.I can't move my legs.  I'm so funny.I'm exercising a lot and trying to get a six pack.  its getting there.Ok.........k sleepy.ffffffsal;k.

Adventures in...... ambien camping?

Ok, it's time to break out one of my greatest ambien adventures.  I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to stop laughing at this one.  I don't think it's a secret that ambien brings out the "unreserved" side of
people :-).  If you've seen any of the ambien video's posted on YouTube, you know what I'm talking about.  And for anyone who doubts that these videos are real, think again.  Ambien puts you in an almost hypnotic state where you think you're awake and functioning normally, but are really asleep.  It's weird to say the least.

This adventure began like any other night.  I was getting tired, the kids were in bed, I get up early for work and needed to sleep, so I took an ambien.

I'm not really sure what happened in the following 8 hours, but waking up the next morning was a bit of an odd experience.  I was feeling a little chilly so I reached around for a blanket.  My head was on a pillow and I was laying on something soft so I was a little surprised, to say the least, when my hand encountered "non-bedding" material.  I knew for sure that I had gone to be in my nice soft king size bed, and unless my wife had installed some carpet in the bed during the night, I wasn't in my bed.

Confused, but still mostly asleep I attempted to open my eyes.  Having taken my contacts out the night before didn't help as I tried to process the blurry image that were slowly beginning to appear.  I could see a large object in the distance, and I saw lots of "green".....

At that point my brain was waking up and began to realize that I wasn't in bed.  In fact, I wasn't even in my house!  I suddenly understood what I had been feeling - it was grass!

I opened my other eye and quickly discovered that I was in my BACK YARD!!!  Apparently I had decided that it would be nice to go "camping" so I grabbed a cushion from the couch, a blanket, and marched into the back yard to sleep under the stars!

 

 The Backyard

Thank goodness it was only 6 in the morning because the next thing I realized was that I was only wearing my underwear!!!!

Cold, a little embarrassed, and laughing I wrapped myself in the blanket and headed indoors.  I can say with complete certainty that I'll never forget the ambien adventure that took me camping :-).  Good thing the sprinklers didn't come on.....

Fast and Furious adventures in Rio de Janeiro?

Any fans of the Fast and the Furious movie series?  I loved seeing Rio on the big screen in Fast 5!

Brian and Dom in Fast 5

Although I love Rio like a second home, it has a dark, dark side that the World Cup and Olympic organizers don't like to publicize.  Take a look at this story Violent protests in Rio.  Most of the Carioca's (Rio's citizens) have very, very little and after understanding their situation, it's not hard to understand why violence like this often erupts.


Some areas of Rio are amazing!

Praia de Copacabana (Copacabana Beach)

Others aren't so amazing.

Favela (shanty town) in Rio

You can't even begin to imagine the poverty in the favelas (shanty towns).  They literally have nothing.  Well, most of the people in the favelas have nothing; the drug lords who live there are wealthy beyond belief.  And they're happy to share just enough to keep people alive and loyal to them.  Anyone who turns against the drug lords will likely find themselves dead very quickly.

"Why don't they turn to the police?" you might ask.  The poor souls in Rio who dare to join the police force are paid very little money, and there's a good chance that they will die at the hands of any drug lords they dare oppose.  The Government is corrupt beyond belief and subsequently can't/won't afford to pay the police a higher salary, so where do the cops go to get money to support their families?  You got it, the drug lords.  And in return the police leave the drug lords alone.  The people living in the favelas are stuck in a giant downward spiral.  I'm not saying it's right, but I think I would feel like smashing and burning things in the road if I was stuck in that life.

I'm a big fan of The Fast and the Furious movies, but Fast Five (the fifth installment that take place in Rio) almost had me laughing.  Remember the Brazilian cop (Elena) that Dom falls in love with?  She's supposedly an honest cop and guess where they show her living.  Yep, the favelas.  There is zero chance of that happening.  Sorry to disappoint any fans of the franchise :-).

As the World Cup and Olympics are approaching, Brazil has stepped up its efforts to clean up the mean streets of Rio and has done a decent job.  But it literally took the military to accomplish any semblance of order in Rio.  They have literally been at war with the drug cartels in the favelas for a few years and at one point they actually had a tank rolling down the streets of the favelas!

Anyway, it's a sad situation.  But hopefully now you understand a little more about the Cariocas and why some of them struggle so much.

Adventures in Rio De Janeiro: An American Perspective

As I mentioned in another post, I recently moved to Texas and am loving it!  I haven't experienced the Texas heat yet (which they say is unbearable), but I lived in Rio De Janeiro, Brasil (Brazil) for a few years and there is nothing in the US that compares to the 120F /100% humidity summers in Brazil....and I spent most of that time out side!!!  Ok, I might be exaggerating Brasil's humidity a LITTLE, but not much :-).

Texans complain, but they have air conditioning everywhere!  Most of the folks in Rio are much too poor to afford windows, much less air conditioning.  You've probably seen Rio's living conditions in the favelas (shanty towns) on TV as the world is preparing for the World Cup and Olympics in Rio, and you've probably thought they were showing "extreme/dramatic" scenes as the media normally does, but the truth is that half of Rio actually looks like that.  Small brick houses, no windows, dirt floors, dirt roads, drug cartels everywhere.  They all have TV's though :-).

A Favela (Shanty Town) in Rio

I spent quite a bit of time with people in the favelas and despite their extremely poor conditions, lack of education, and lack of attainable anything, they are happy and kind people who strongly believe in God; at least they claim to (their lives of some would suggest otherwise).

Rio as seen from Pão de Açúcar
(Sugar Loaf)

Most of the rest of Rio is filled with what would be considered "poor" living conditions by American standards (much better than the favelas though).  Dingy apartment buildings with doors and windows, a couch, a bed, a dinner table, and of course a TV.

There are some however in Rio that would be considered "rich" even by American standards.  The residents of the rich areas live amazing lives.  Beautiful, impeccable golf courses.  World class hotels.  Private beaches.  Maids.  Great education.  Beautiful homes with incredible views of the ocean, the mountains, lakes, beaches, etc.  I would live that section of Rio in a heartbeat!  But my wife isn't too keen on the idea :-).  

If you have the money you could play a round of golf at the Gavea Golf Club.

Gavea Golf Club

 Or stay at the Copacabana Palace.

Copacabana Palace

And take a dip in this private pool on one of the upper floors!  The entire pool is made of black marble tile.  I've been to this pool and the view of the ocean across the street is amazing!!

Pool at the Copacabana Palace

Speaking of beaches, the beaches (praia) in Brasil are absolutely amazing, but beware that they are a prime location for pickpocketing (especially foreigners).  White sand for miles.  Beautiful crystal clear blue water.  Palm trees.  Amazing.  If you really have a hankering to visit the beach, I'd try either one of the beaches in the more Americanized area or some of the small resort towns.  Absolutely beautiful and less chance of getting robbed.

Ipanema Beach (praia)

If you make it to Brasil, be sure to watch the Seleção (Brasil's national team) play some futebol (soccer)!  You won't see a single Brasilian on the streets when Brasil is playing because they're ALL watching the game.  It's absolutely amazing - nothing like it exists in the US.

Futebol

All in all, Rio is my second home.  The people, culture, scenery, and food are amazing!  I highly recommend a visit.  Check out my other posts for my adventures with food, culture, and life in Brasil!